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June 15 2017

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on a lighter note, this happened today

Dorian needs to cool it with the necromancy

help!

iraya:

im really begging here my beans, i need money for rent + food!!

please Support me PATREON// TIP ME // COMMISSION

im doing commissions right now so im pretty quiet online because i would like to pay my rent on time  ;o ;)

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you know, for once I want things to be normal

my exams are over and likely university will no longer be a thing

but first the headache, and now dizzy spells, and a definite depressive swing

just. why.

And now I am pushing off to bed!! *sad face* This is why I am never around. Perpetual exhaustion… lols. *smooshles* Glad dinner made you feel better!

*smooch* have a good sleep sweetheart

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aerthworm:

when it’s bedtime and i call my pet skull up onto the california king

@kaijuslayer it did indeed taste good. when I was a kid I never ate wontons, but I obvs was a fool

@bubbysbub I think dinner did the trick. and if it didn’t, I got ice cream ^_^ hi bb it’s been ages since we’ve both been around on the same time

@darkwingdukat ;)

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Wontons look like brains tbh

Suddenly nauseous and got a major headache
Why

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drownedinlight:

@jillbearup made an excellent video about Mary-Sues as a part of her series on The History of Fanficion, and I just had to make a picture of this quote. First time I’ve done this, so I hope you like it!

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cutekittensarefun:

“Look at me. I’m the Sphinx meow.”

Reposted bybiauekNocephyaKeksverpackung
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blackdranzer:

in short: im extremely broke and have a month to find some place to live

long story:

im a disabled, mentally ill queer person who desperately needs help. ive been struggling to get a job the past 5 months, and now im in dire straights with $20 to my name. my lease is ending in a month and i dont have money to keep renting here or get a new apartment. my living arrangements are limited where i am, but i will get an extended stay until if i cant find a stable living situation

what/how much i need:

  • last rent check for july ($580)
  • money for a low-income apartment down payment or enough so i can stay off the streets for the end of july and august
  • utilities and bills ($80)
  • groceries
  • medications

if you can donate please use my ko-fi [linked] or send directly to my paypal at cupcakecommissions@gmail.com

any dollar really counts, but if you cant donate reblogging is very appreciated <3

roachpatrol:

lazulisong:

Kids for the love of god stop putting depreciating little notes in your summaries on ao3.
  • if u tell someone something is,bad nine times out of ten, they’re going to believe you without looking at it
  • not to say “do as i say not as i do” but if you wouldn’t put up with behavior like what you’re doing to yourself if someone did it to your friend THINK REAL HARD ABOUT IT
  • YOU LISTEN TO ME. ITS NOT “AN AU NOBODY ASKED FOR”, ITS “I HAD A GREAT IDEA FOR AN ORIGINAL AU (or take on an AU lmao Shakespeare wasn’t original either) SO I WROTE IT.” HAPPY UNBIRTHDAY SOMEONE WHO IS HAVING A SHITTY DAY AND LOVES DOG GROOMER AUs. YOU JUST MADE THEIR DAY.

Vodka Auntie out OH PS if your mom is shitty or otherwise unavailable on Sunday for mothers day come hang out in my ask box

  • “I couldn’t think of a summary” JUST COPY THE FIRST COUPLE LINES OF YOUR FIC INTO THE SUMMARY BOX AND YOU’RE DONE. IT’S MAGIC.
  • “Don’t read this” keep it on your harddrive until you’re brave enough to own your work, or post it anon. 
  • “Just another ___ AU” look, it’s fanfic, everything is variations on a theme. Your variation is as legitimate as anyone else’s. 
  • “Please don’t hate me!!” just repeat six important words to yourself when this insecurity pops up: fuck you if you don’t like me. 

thank you!!!

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Despite my unexcited (i.e. usual) expression: FUCKING DONE.

zamaron:

Pineapple on pizza makes sense if you think about how the sweetness of the pineapple counters the saltiness of the cheese, meats and sauce but you flat lined taste bud having hoes wouldn’t understand that.

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June 14 2017

Play fullscreen

neverwhere:

speculativepast:

It’s been 10 years since we first started taking the Hobbits to Isengard. I mean, it’s been way longer - the Hobbits could have fucking walked there, back again, managed to get served several times at the downstairs bar in Doggett’s and got a Southeastern train service all the way to Charing Cross since Tolkien put pen to page. But (and believe me, this is deeply unusual for me) let’s put J R R aside in this.

Peter Jackson’s Lord of the Rings trilogy is kind of… well, both too faithful (total lack of critical interrogation of Tolkien’s absolutely awful concepts around race, gender, etc.) and not faithful enough in that it appeared to miss all the points your correspondent’s teenage self managed to find in the series. Specifically, where Lord of the Rings is an obsessively detailed but ultimately quite modest and traumatised epic, a huge amount of which is two small, starving creatures crawling around in mud having moral dilemmas. The Jackson films take themselves as seriously and grandly as the books came to be and as I suspect their author probably never did.

Taking the Hobbits to Isengard, on the other hand, is a pure and perfect work and I will hear no ill spoken of it else ye never receive a pint in a round bought by me again. 

It takes as its base the Hovis-theme-ripping-off music from The Shire - the small-worlded part of the films, before any grandeur is truly injected into the bloated beastie that is the trilogy. The Hobbiton theme is supposed to be homely, reassuring, quaint - like anything that succeeds at that, it sounds fucking amazing played on an airhorn.

The simplicity of the Shire’s theme is what allows it to so naturally accept the kitchen-sink style auditory ornamentation that is ‘a donk’. A classic staple of rave, it needs no introduction even in a world as apparently dislocated from two WKDs and a honk on some poppers as the miruvor-quaffing pipeweed fiends we see here.

As a lyrical piece, Taking The Hobbits is discursive - like many of the very best pieces of pop. One only has to consider the sweet, sweet tension of Fleetwood Mac’s The Chain or Brandy and Monica’s iconic The Boy Is Mine to recognise that dialogous pop is, when it works, a particularly sublime genre.

It doesn’t matter that the lines are, ostensibly, orphaned from their original place in the script - from the eponymous ejaculation to Gollum’s hissed What did u say??? they’re all perfectly addressing each other in the sort of gloriously confused cacophony usually reserved for a misunderstanding-based brawl outside a kebab shop at 3am. 

I remember the first time I heard Taking The Hobbits To Isengard. It was quite a momentous occasion because I still had dial up, so it took roughly the length of a decent pop song to load and it was very difficult to tell if it was deliberate or a bandwidth-related glitch remix for at least 30 torturously disrupted seconds. I’d imagined it would be a fairly quick joke - most internet video based things were, at the time, but no; a fully fledged song. That just kept going. 

The initial air horns! These are funny, yes because we remember them as the Shire theme, which isn’t even the music for this bit. The stuttering sample of the original line! Which sustains itself as Sheffield Dave-style shout out far better than it should, given it’s old seriousface Elf ears himself yelling off a horse. 

(In retrospect, should have equated that with Sheffield Dave earlier)

Then there’s …polka bit. Few pop songs manage to maintain a polka interlude - Bohemian Rhapsody springs to mind but Taking the Hobbits To Isengard manages to repeatedly insert it without losing coherency around its original rave premise. If you don’t think ‘Tell me where is Gandalf, for I much desire to speak with him’ delivered over a little eurodance handbag bit is not both extremely funny and excellent pop, I can’t help you. 

Taking The Hobbits To Isengard would score reasonably at Eurovision. Not because Eurovision is actually the home of comedy trash but because if France (and it would probably have to be France in order for the Elven analogues to take themselves seriously enough) scooted in on an artpop platform and wanged loads of fucking airhorns round the stadium it would be entirely in keeping with European sensibilities of solemnly considering the totally whimsical due to our inherent reservedness about experiencing joy.

(The slightly older and wiser part of me has to question the repeated use of Gollum’s ‘stupid, fat, Hobbits’ which makes sense in the context of what he is but isn’t inherently funny, unlike a context-dislocated, bass-intoned ‘A Balrog of Morgoth’)

The great thing about Taking The Hobbits To Isengard is it actually gets funnier the more it goes on. Like Star Trekkin it not only sets out to commit to a fairly one-note premise but to hammer that note until it falls out through the piano and becomes a transcendent free agent, cascading through the strings. 

It takes a premise; that the Lord of the Rings films, in their overblown format, are very, very silly and runs with it extremely, deadly seriously. This is the core of not all but a fairly substantial chunk of really good pop, as well as an excellent manual for life. All things are here - a manic sense of imminent implosion, troubling past associated with racist ideologies, handcarts, hell, what did u say???

Very seriously; Taking The Hobbits To Isengard is a superb piece of fan work and it has substantially enriched my life to listen to it on loop for the past 45 minutes whilst watching a parliamentary debate on mute. Creators of this piece: thank.

My friend Hazel wrote a Very Serious post about a Very Serious and Important fanwork and you should all read it immediately 

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kellymarietran:

The Hero’s Journey: The hero is faced with something that makes him begin his adventure. This might be a problem or a challenge he needs to overcome. The hero attempts to refuse the adventure because he is afraid.

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Reposted bypati2k6Plonk
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